hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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