3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
