On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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