Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize