soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Drunk is a universal language darling
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
