I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
