dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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