i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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