help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
