I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
