You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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