loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
