ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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