If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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