Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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