I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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