After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
