Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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