Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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