Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
