I bet he comes in French.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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