To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
