i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
