just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I could fuck to npr.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
