the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize