My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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