these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
