So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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