He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
