$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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