I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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