belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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