Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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