apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
