I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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