it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
