how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
