Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
