WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
