Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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