Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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