I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
