You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
