Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
