u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
