I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
