Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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