What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
