"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
