just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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