hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
