Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
