I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
