i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
