my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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