found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
