none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
