I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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