just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
