i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
