Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
