chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
