Don't you send me to vm
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
