The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
