Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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