A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
