I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
