don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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